Jeremiah 29:11-14a

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Moving to Tumblr!

I'm moving my blog to tumblr! It is easier and I am already on it most days, so it will be easier for me to remember to post hopefully! When I post on tumblr it will automatically post a link to my facebook feed, so that should make things tons easier! Or you can go to the url: http://jeremiah2nine11.tumblr.com/

Enjoy!! <3

Monday, August 23, 2010

=)

I am soooo glad our God is so big. Because honestly, I have so many issues and problems and things that happen in life that I would be out of luck with on my own. And I don't even have to worry about being an attention hog, because it's not like I have to worry about taking up all of God's time. He's never like-Hey, Kimber, I know you've got a lot on your mind, but, I'm kinda booked tonight and I have an early morning..sooo...could you just give me the highlights? NO. Thank goodness gracious gravy. And I just can't get over that he's never too busy for all the junk, or even all the great stuff that's happening. I love that he loves to hear about all that too. Like how I got a call from the yearbook today or how I didn't have to sit alone at lunch. I'm sure you're laughing now, but I will tell you what those things are big deals. Then there's the slightly bigger stuff-the stuff that isn't so great. Like how I hate awkward situations and wish the world would just be rid of them straight away. Or how I sometimes just want to steal a few select people and take them away to a secret place where I can completely monopolize their time and attention. Selfish? Maybe. Honest? Yes. And then, after all that, there's the real life-big deal-no joke-kinda makes you sick inside- kinda stuff. Like how someone you really care about gets hurt really really bad by someone they really cared about and you just want to bash that person's face in but you know that wouldn't actually help your friend be less eternally scarred. Or how you know that someone just needs a good friend, someone to talk to, but you aren't in the same city as them. Or how someone who isn't supposed to die is taken from the people that really need them. And what do you do when all that is just pressing, pressing down on you like a huge bag of junk that no one wants-like empty pizza boxes and broken toys. It sucks. There's no simpler way to put it. And I just honestly don't know what people do when they don't have Jesus to talk to. I know that could sound cheesy but I honestly wonder it. Like, I grew up in the church. I grew up learning that when you had a problem or something you needed to get out, even if no one else in the world was there, there was one who was. And you didn't even have to call him or see if he's busy or if he wants to hang out. You just talk. Now that's the ultimate form of communication. And that's why God always trumps people and their man-made communication devices. Because no matter how freaky insane technology gets, it will never get as close as God does. Why? Because when it's person to person, there's always someone on the other end who can say no. Someone who can say I'm busy or I can't talk or just doesn't answer at all. But not so with our God! And it just makes me wanna scream because when I'm at that point when I'm so overwhelmed by nerves or unsureness(word?) or doubt or sadness or happiness or whatever(!), it's just like a no brainer. Of course he's going to listen. And that's wonderfully reassuring. And I don't really know how but I just want people to get that. To know what it's like to have that friend-in the truest definition-connotation and denotation-that is so always and completely ok with you pouring out your heart and your mind and just whatever is troubling you or whatever you're thinking about. God just loves to talk to us, just like I love to talk to my friends, but on an even more extreme level. Like, I know that my friends get to a point when they get tired of listening-hey, I'm guilty as charged too! And that's because we're not perfect, which includes not being perfect listeners. But God...(which is such a wonderful phrase and so applicable for all kinds of situations and scenarios)..he is the perfect listener. Which is what everyone wants right? Well, at least every girl..and a lot of guys I think, even if they don't admit it.

So that's it, that's what's on my mind. How much God loves us and how wonderful it is that he is there. always. always. always.

Monday, March 8, 2010

I'm eating spaghetti right now, just thought I'd share that with you all. It's supremely yummy. Maybe it's that spaghetti is just an inspirational food, or maybe something's finally ready to come out of the wood here. I haven't written in a while. I won't apologize for that, but I'm excited to be writing right now for the very reason I started this blog: I just love what happens when an individual puts pen to paper, or here, fingers to keys. God does some pretty epic stuff in the lives of tons of people everyday, and it's part of our job to share that in some way, be it the spoken word, art, music, or, my personal favorite: writing.


So, that said, I'm thoroughly happy to be writing again. God's been doing some awesome stuff in and around me. First off, I am very blessed to be in Cincinnati right now. Although it's not where I'm going to be forever, I have no doubt in my mind that once again, God knew what he was doing. Suprise, I know. Naw, it shouldn't really be a suprise at all, somehow, it always is though. Ha. Humans are dumb. You'd think we'd get that God knows the right plan, but somehow we pull a Peter and ask him if he's sure he wants to take that route. (Mark 8:32-this was in the sermon Sunday at my church and I was floored. I had never noticed this before, but Mark says taht Peter rebuked Jesus! "What was he thinking?!" we say, but I'd need more than just my fingers and toes to count how many times I've done the exact same thing. I find it interesting, and so completely human, that we hold Bible characters to such a high standard. They're people just like us, and I guarantee we mess up just as much as they did. When we hear about their failures, though, what do we do? We ask how they could've been so silly to do or say or think that. Oh irony, how I'm amused by thee.)


Sorry, that was a really long parenthetical...I feel like I may be all over the place today, so just bear with me =] Aaaannnyyyway....basically God's blessed me with some pretty cool people and opportunities in nati city. Lately, I think that, instead of showing me personally things so much, God has been using other people to teach me. See, I've been trying to pay more attention to those around me. It's good to take the focus off yourself. And it's remarkable how, when you stop looking just at yourself, what you can learn from others about me, myself and I.


I have always believed that other people was one of the greatest blessings God ever gave us. He uses friends to show us our faults and our strengths, to encourage us, and to hone us into better versions of ourselves. I want to share with you now what some of these people have been teaching me lately.


1. This remarkable girl isn't intimidated or scared of anything, or so she claims. I'm seeing day by day that a lot of us put up strong fronts so no one sees our weaknesses, myself included. We think that only putting out the elements of our person that we feel confidence in, or that we think will be the most protective and undamageable, is our best bet to making it through this life unscarred. That's a lie though, a suprisingly widely beleived lie, but a lie none the less. Not letting anyone see the real me only damages that person inside that's being supressed and confined. Catapillars can't stay in their cocoons forever.


2. I can only handle this individual in small doses. Some people just rub you the wrong way, I guess. But they're still there, so what do ya do? Come to find out, lots of people have problems. While that's not an excuse for acting a certain way, maybe I'd understand them a bit better if I took into account that I'm not the only one who's had a hard time growing up. Believe it or not, I think that most of us have. This individual teaches me patience, no matter how stubborn I am to learn.


3. Some people, like this one, are just easy to mess with. It's funny to throw those verbal punches, all with the claim of "jk" attatched. Now, I love a good joke. I throw them because I can take them in return. I've realized that not all people are like me, though. Sometimes jokes can hurt just as much as the real thing. I'm not ok with hurting a friend, even if we did get a good laugh out of it. Plus, how many times do our "just kiddings" actually have a hint of truth behind them? I'd say that, at least for me, quite a lot of the time. Sometimes, well, probably a lot of the time, I should just keep my mouth shut.


4. This individual has the biggest heart in the world I've determined. She loves and cares about people waaay more than most, just like God asks us to. Funny thing is, if you knew her past, it'd suprise you that her heart is still in good enough tact to love so much. Sometimes it seems, though, that the hearts that are the most damaged are the most loving. Not, always, but when that damaged heart chooses to push all the junk aside and love people anyway, even though they've hurt you in unspeakable ways, that is true bravery. To love despite, that's bravery, and that's something I want to have.


5. This girl has made me aware how much I judge people. Labels characterize our society, and it's hard not to slap a label on someone before you even find out their name, not to mention anything deeper than that. This girl doesn't always make the right choices, but who does?! See, in our minds we have declared certain sins worse than others, and we're quick to judge each other as we see fit. But I've been realizing that frankly, we all have issues, and to God, we're all sinners. But you know what? We all know who still loved us and died for us, despite our issues: good ole JC. Why on earth, then, would I refuse to love someone because they still mess up? Well, then I say, "I didn't say I didn't love them!" But I don't see how we can treat someone with disdain or judgment and still say we love them. It's just ridiculous to judge someone for their faults when we have our own log sticking out of our eye. This one is a hard thing to get over, because, unfortunatly, it comes so naturally to us. I have to stop judging, though, and instead, love those people, so that maybe, just maybe, I can be a true friend, and help them be better, and*, at the same time, allow them to do the same for me.

(*it truly pained me to write that run-on, but I felt it necessary.)


6. The last thing on my heart right now is something that a bunch of people have been showing me, but one in particular. I wrote a blog a while back about being beautifully made by our Creator, and truly embracing and believing that. I think maybe I forgot about that for a while. Especially for girls, its a hard thing to remember. Always comparing, always feeling unsatisfactory, always trying to be perfect: that's us, ladies. But that is NOT who we were created to be. This friend of mine wrote something quite moving the other day. She said, "My body was not meant to be used for men to lust after. It was not made to seduce men. It was made for the sole purpose of glorifying, praising, and honoring my Creator." And I was just so blow away by that insight, because it's so true, yet I've never thought of it like that before. I don't know why exactly God made me the way he did, but it's not like he messed up or just threw me together. No I was formed, crafted, and created by a perfect God who is in the business of producing nothing less than perfection. Forgetting that is detrimental, but realizing it is like looking in the mirror and seeing a completely different person. Maybe I was made with imperfections-according to society, that is-because God wanted me to give him the glory for creating me that way, or so I could find my fulfillment in him, not others, or maybe so I could help someone in their struggle for body peace. Whatever the reason be, I know that to my creator, I am perfect.


On that same note, I find myself astonished at the cutting remarks we ladies are so good at producing. We do this, at least I do, to make ourselves feel better, to take the focus off our imperfections by putting the focus on the shortcomings of others. I have found that there is almost no other force among women that is more harmful than cutting each other down. So I'm trying hard to replace these hurtful, judgmental, and unnecessary comments with only compliments. Uplifting each other should be our first priority, not judgment.


So there I am, lots of stuff going on, and a lot to figure out. But I think the bottom line of all this is that we're all God's creations, none better than another. I think that a grasp on that can change our world, one life at a time. Spread the love <3

Friday, January 29, 2010

Open Door Policy

I am sitting on facebook right now, but I don't feel too bad about it because I just cleaned our entire room as a suprise for Abby, my roommate. So as I was sitting here doing whatever people do when they are on facebook...basically nothing, and I noticed an old friend of mine's status. We went to middle school together, and that got me thinking about those days that seem sooooo long ago. I went to a small Christian school, with a grand total of eight kids in my eighth grade class. Because of that small number of people, I think, we all became very close over the course of those years. Today, we have all gone our separate ways, but still I'm friends with all of them on facebook. So as I sat there thinking about those days, remembering our friendships and the unique bond that the eight of us had, I started thinking about the people we have all become today. As I try to remember what each of us is doing now, it's really incredible how different each of us are. All of us are at different colleges, I believe, community, private, and public. We all have different interests, majors, activities, and jobs. Some of us are single, others have significant others, and I think one is even married. We are in different places, and we are headed, most likely, even further apart. Perhaps in eighth grade we were not all that different, but now that we have each grown up, I am struck that no two of us are even remotely similar, apart from our faith.

As I thought of all these potentially dividing factors I was struck at the amazing power of Christ to bring people together. Yea, it was eighth grade, and none of us chose to go to that certain school, but we ended up there, and I know I have been blessed from those days. Despite our different lives today and the people we have become, God brought together eight people that year that would go out to all different corners of life. Now, I will not claim that we are all still best friends. I would say instead that we are old friends, but not in the same sense that that phrase is most often used. Rather, I use it to say that we once knew each other, maybe not anymore today than the "acquaintance" type of facebook friends, but we still share a link that cannot be broken: the link of brothers and sisters in Christ.

And so I marvel at the power of Christ to bring the most random and unlikely people together for his incredible, yet unknown purposes. This same principle is seen everyday in the church. In youth groups kids from all different schools are brought together by Christ to learn from each other. In Bible studies and Sunday school classes, people of all ages, pasts, and futures come together to learn about Christ, and, I think, to learn from each other.

But this principle or idea, whatever you want to think of it as, doesn't only stop in Christian environments. And so I realize the vital importance of having a heart and mind open to new people. See, you never know what person God might bring into your life at the most random time, or even at the most normal. Yea, God might use a new experience or place to give you new relationships, but who's to say that he won't use a normal, everyday circumstance, too? If I go into life with a closed mind to new friendships, I could miss out on an individual that God wants me to be there for during that hard time because I have empathy for their hardship. I might lose the chance to have a unique and incredible friend who always cheers me up, or I might shut off my heart to someone who God will use to teach me a valuable lesson.

Looking back, there's no doubt that God brought the eight of us together for a reason. I don't doubt that you have people in your life that God has done the exact same thing with. Rarely, at the point of meeting someone, do you realize a) whether they will be a lasting friend, or b) how they will impact your life. But you know who does know? God. But if we shut ourselves off to new people and friendships, I wonder how much we could miss out on. I don't know about you, but my guess is that, like me, you'd like to have as many meaningfull people in your life as possible. The thing is, we can't pick and choose "meaningfull people" out of a crowd to be our friends. It doesn't work that way. Rather, our all-knowing Creator does the picking and choosing. Frankly, I'm glad for that, mostly because I know He can pick the people He wants to be in my life way better than I would be able to, but also because a life full of suprises is indeed one full of unforgettable people, friendships, and experiences. So ask and trust God to bring the right people into your life. Open up the door of your heart and your mind. After all, you never know who's going to walk in.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

"I See You"

I write to make sense of my world. A lot of times life doesn't happen the way you think it will, or work out like you planned. And sometimes, that's ok. Usually at the beginning, it's horrible and terrible, but I've found that God's plan is way bigger than mine. He can see waaaay further ahead than I can, and he truly does have my best interests at the very center of his mind and heart. Sometimes the events that seem like the end of the world are only the beginning.

If you're looking for a collected and organized thought here, I'm sorry to disappoint you. I'm afraid this post will consist more of a couple disjointed thoughts strung together by punctuation than some revelation or idea. Usually it seems that the things God is showing me relate to each other in some way, but it seems different right now. I have been continuing to see that God's plan is usually unexpected, but undoubtedly superior to mine. I have also confirmed in my mind that I love to write, sensical or not. Whether it's an encouraging letter or a general pondering of what God's showing me (like this), I just plain love it. Just throwing that out there. haha.

I want to share something I have been facing recently, much to my puzzlement. During finals week, I had three consecutive nights of dreams about inescapable death. Yea, kinda dark, I know. I think those were the result of Bible school study of the Bible-in depth and detailed. One too many classes on the martyrs of Acts and the Old Testament's holy war, with my high stress level piled on top, resulted in some scary nights for this little girl. Since then, I have not had anymore nightmares. I have, however, been unusually paranoid about safety. I don't know if it's the bad weather that has me constantly thinking of the worst or what, but I find myself worrying for my safety and the safety of others waaay more than is usual, necessary, or normal. Luckily, I have a God who is much bigger than my fears. Thanks to one of my favorite passages, Philippians 4:6-7, I have been able to deal with this random paranoia pretty well, I'd say. I was thinking about why this was happening the other night, and I realized that it doesn't really matter, because my God is truly the biggest and the most awesome God ever. I know that his plan is perfect. End of story. Never the less, this got me thinking about how I view God. I think that different people appreciate, if you will, different aspects of God. I would say that everyone needs all that God has to offer, but that they focus on different aspects of God's character based on their own needs. I, for example, look to God for protection and guidance most often. While I absolutely need God's forgiveness or mercy, I find myself thinking most often about how God protects and comforts me. I'm sure this is because of the conditions of my growing up and different circumstances of my life. With this in my mind, I find myself reveling at the vastness of our Creator. 6 billion people in the world, and we have a God that can relate to, cater to, and take care of each in the special and unique way that they need. What an awesome God! Our God knows each of those 6 billion peoples' hearts, and he knows exactly how to comfort each one of them. Why and how? Because he created you. He created you in the womb and planned out each day of your life before any of them happened (Psalm 139:13-16). You are "fearfully and wonderfully made" by a God who knows your heart and mind so perfectly that only He knows how to give you the peace that you so desire. It reminds me of a brilliant movie I just saw, Avatar. In the movie, the Na'vi people greet each other by saying "I see you." This implies that they not only see them physically, but that they see into their soul. I love this image because it is exactly what Christ says to us. He sees us, he gets us, and he cares about us more than anyone in the world. And when you realize this knowledge and care God has of each of his children, it can become a scary thing that we want to hide from, or it can become an imense comfort that we will embrace in the absolute hardest of times.

So this has turned into more of a connected thought than I thought it would lol. But it doesn't really matter, connected or not. It's kind of like life: it doesn't always make sense or go in the order you think it should. The bottom line is, though, that our God is vast and indescribable, and when you're talking about him and learning about him, it might not always make sense. People deal with that in different ways: some, like me, write, some talk or produce art or sing, or whatever. It doesn't matter how you do it, though, because one thing we can ALL do is pray to our mighty God to make sense of it. Because despite our confusion and the questions, God knows us perfectly, and he's just waiting help us through anything and everything in his precisely perfect way.

So have a happy Christmas and a merry new year. And remember that no matter how rough it gets, or what this next year brings, our God is unchanging. He knows us yesterday, today, and even tomorrow. Run to him in the tough times and ask him for help on the dark nights, because he knows you better than anyone, and he's absolutely ready to save your life.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Not The Leaving Kind...

It's easy to forget about God when the rest of the world presses in hard around us. Whether you lose someone you love or your workload just seems impossible to handle, life can get pretty tough. I can promise you, though, that when life gets too dark to see the light, feel a hug, or believe there's hope for a brighter tomorrow, God is still there beside us, no matter how dark it seems.

One of my favorite songs by Tenth Avenue North says "I'll be by your side, whenver you fall, in the dead of night, whenever you call." Like God is at all hindered by the junk of this world, yea right! No, God is next to us in the moments we just want to sleep the day away, when we feel worthless, or when it just doesn't seem like life will ever get better. Because, unlike people, who may or may not be there for you, God isn't intimidated by social boundaries-no matter who you are, what you've done, or where you've been, God is always going to be right there beside you as long as you call on His name. As the song says, He's not the leaving kind.

In Matthew 28:20, Jesus gives us an unparalleled promise: "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Amen. That's all I can say to that. Because so often I just forget. How is it so easy to forget a God like ours? I really can't wrap my mind around how I can ever let that happen, but I know I do. I know I let the junk of the world crowd my mind and steal the peace that only comes from trusting in God's flawless plan. I forget that the love of my Savior is the only thing I need. And yet, Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." When we seek God, he is right there next to us. He is with us always, all we have to do is look for him and call out to him for help.

I ran across a verse the other day, a whole chapter actually: Psalm 34. It's pretty incredible, not gonna lie. Here's a couple of my favorite verses that have seemed particularly applicable amidst all the drama, tension, stress, and frustration of the last few weeks. Verses 17-18 in the Message version say, "Is anyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you. If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath." Now that's a promise I can hold on to. So many verses in the Bible just scream God's love and devotion to his people, but so often I miss them when I could use them the most. Instead I turn to stuff like chick flicks, music, chocolate, or facebook-all cool and awesome things-but never the less, things that have absolutely no power to heal my hurting heart. I really don't know what I'm thinking, when the answer to my troubles lies in an age-old, yet so contemporary, book right next to me, yet I chose to turn on my computer instead.

Despite my stupidity in this area, however, that doesn't mean God gets fed up with me screwing up and calls it quits. Heck no. Quite the opposite. A song by superchick is on my ipod right now. The chorus says, "So stand in the rain, stand your ground. Stand up when it's all crashing down. You stand through the pain, you won't drown." Why won't we drown in all the mess of this life? Because God, Jesus, our Savior, the most Awesome God that was, is, or ever will be loves us so very dearly, and He's not going anywhere. Yea, people always leave, but not our God. If you're crying for help, God is right there, and he is sooooo ready to be your knight in shining armor to the rescue. To get all the love, peace and joy he gives, all we have to do is ask. And you know what's awesome? He doesn't even have to come running-He's been there all along.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Take <3

"Stay with God! Take heart. Don't quit. I'll say it again: Stay with God." Psalm 27:14 (The Message).

Winter is a lousy time of year in my opinion. It's cold, windy, and dead-looking. The sky is almost always cloudy, and the only good part of winter-snow-is only pretty for the first hour or so while it is falling. Not to sound cynical, but winter is quite an unpleasant time of the year. It gets dark way too early, and no one likes to hop out of a warm bed onto an icy floor in the morning. Despite my dislike of winter, it's part of the year, and no matter how much I kick, scream, and wish for summer, the months are always the same amount of time. It doesn't matter how much I grumble, winter is going to stick around as long as it wants. It's just the way life is.

I ran across the above verse last night, and I couldn't get it out of my head. So often I find myself losing sight of God, not because He is leaving me behind, but because I don't make the effort or chose to keep up. Other things get more interesting, and my focus on God begins to blur into apathy. Other times, it's not apathy that trips me up, it's something bigger than that. We all know the phrase: "stuff" happens. Bad things happen to good people, and when we come to that fork in the road, we have two choices, give up on God, or, as David urges us, "Take heart, don't quit, and stay with God."

Life is drab sometimes, just like the winter season. But we know that after winter comes spring, a time of rebirth and renewal. Though it's dark out during those long, winter months, we know that the sun hasn't disappeared, it's just around the corner (of the world), and it will shine on us again. Just like the faithful little sun, God hasn't gone anywhere. There may be darkness, but joy comes with the morning. Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Every winter, we know the spring will come eventually. We have no trouble beliving that. You know who makes the spring come? God. The same God that changes the seasons each year can just as easily change a life. So if it's the same God, and we believe the seasons will change, why would we put our trust in something else less reliable? Don't lose sight of your faith in our all-powerful God with whom "all things are possible." (Matt. 19:26)

So first of all, take heart. Find at least a glimmer of hope in the dark winter time and have faith that the God who changes the seasons can see you through anything. And whatever you do, don't you dare quit. Rather, stay with God, the one who makes the world go round, literally and figuratively. Jesus said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Put your faith in God and keep it there for always; He won't let you down. Remember, winter doesn't last forever.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Love Extravagantly

"Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses." Proverbs 10:12(NLT)

Love. It's a common word to us anymore, used at least several times a day in my vocabulary, not even when I'm referring to a person, but maybe to the spaghetti I just ate at olive garden, or maybe a favorite tv show. I throw love out all the time, but only a couple times a day do I really mean it.

At CIY this summer, I challenged myself to love people more. While I'm not necessarily a mean person, I wanted to be someone who exemplefied the idea of loving people. The hard part is, I wasn't just talking about my bff, my boyfriend, or my pets, but rather that guy who doesn't know what deoderant is, or that girl who annoys me more than anything. I wanted to be someone who loved the unlovable. That's why I want to be a high school teacher, to show the kids who don't think that anyone gives a rat's behind about them that they are wrong. Like most things in this world, this proved harder than I had anticipated.

1 John 4:20-21 (Message translation) pretty much calls me out, "If anyone boasts, 'I love God,' and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both." Yep. Pretty much hits me dead on. How can I say I love God and then judge those that I don't get along with or don't like? I often fall guilty to the "I don't really hate them" thinking, but how much better is it to talk about people and insult them behind their backs? Not very, in my opinion.

This is a hard subject for me to write about because I know that I fail to love people all the time. I judge people, I laugh at them, I make fun of them if they're different than the people I like. I know it's wrong, but what do I do? I slap on a "just kidding" and pretend I didn't mean it. Who am I fooling? Certainly not God.

"This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother." 1 John 3:10. Wow again, I am smacked in the face with the importance of loving those around me. The hardest part is getting around my cultural instincts to protect myself, to make myself look better, and to try and survive in the social world. I struggle to push aside those barriers and love people as God's creations. I don't know why it's so hard, but it is.

So how do I do this? How can I love the people in this world that make me either want to tear my hair out or sit on the other side of the room? Frankly I'm not entirely sure. The only thing I can figure out is that I must become more like Christ, who loved the worst people in the world while he was on earth and then died for them and everyone alike. Colossians 3 is turning into one of my favorite chapters. Verses 12-14 say, "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." There it is. The Amplified Bible puts it as "putting on behavior marked by tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]." I read about these traits and I understand the defecit in my life that I have when it comes to loving the unloved. I don't have mercy for those I don't like, I want to show them what's up! I succumb to pride when I'm around those I consider better than myself. And of course, my patience flys away so fast when I'm around those annoying or obnoxious people that it's not even funny. Really though, it's not funny. Because God calls me to love those people, to show them gentelness and patince and humility and kindness and compassion.

2 Timothy 2:24(NLT) says, "A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people." Ahhh...that last part there especially hits me. Be patient with difficult people. See, I think that love comes in many different forms. It's not just hugging people or saying "I love you." It may be that, yes, but not necessarily. I think that God calls us to love people by countering what it is about them that we don't like. Everyone bugs me in some way, so I can love them by letting go of that irritation and countering it with kindness or patience or humility. For example: There is a girl I know named Olivia*. She tests me and tries my patience in just about every way imaginable. Our personalities are so completely polar opposite that every time we are in the same room we annoy each other. I think that the way God wants me to love her is by rising above that irritation. God wants me to have patience with Olivia rather than snapping at her or verbally fighting back. There's another, Amanda*, whose company I do not enjoy at all. Frankly, she creeps me out. We've all been there. Certain people just don't go well together, but that does NOT mean that I am not called to love them. I think that God has called me, not necessarily to seek out Amanda's company, but when I am around her to, rather than becoming annoyed and prideful, to put my feelings aside and be kind. And not fake kind, pretending to be sweet and then laughing about it later, but being genuinely kind for once. Romans 12:9-10 says(NLT), "Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." Here's another hard verse for me, because it's so very easy to pretend. I am an expert at it, in fact. But I'm not called to pretend, I'm called to show Christ's love, which was and is as far from pretend as it gets.

"How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony!" Psalm 133:1(NLT). How wonderful and pleasant. God wants us to live together, not just tollerating each other's presence, but loving those around us as he loved and loves absolutely every individual on this planet. As I write this, there are 6,797,272,191 people in the world. That number will be different in a few seconds probably, but my point is this: God loves each of those six billion people alive right now. He also has loved all the people who have ever lived, I don't even have an idea of how many that would be. Basically, A LOT. God has a whole lotta love, considering that he gives each individual unconditional and complete love regardless of their race, home, or personality. How does God give that love to those people? Well first, I think he gives it through his grace and protection. He also gives it through the flowers and the sun and this beautiful world he has provided for us. But most importantly, God gives his love through others. If someone never had a friend or a family, would they feel love? Maybe from some animals or something, but they would not get the full extent of Christ's love if people in the world did not display it. Johnny Depp was quoted as saying, "The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants." That's sad, but in the world sometimes it seems like it. We must change that, and it can only be changed if we take the initiative and love the unlovable, just as dogs and babies do. We are the ones whom God has chosen to carry his love to the unlovable in this world. What a huge responsibility, but also, what an incredible priviledge.

According to 1 John 4:12, "No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us." Love. Such a common and simple word. Yet it holds so much weight, so much meaning. Loving each other is the way that we can show God to the world. How is it that I so easily forget to do that? I want to be someone who loves the world without inhibition. Not just the people who are like me, but everyone, because everyone in this world needs love, no matter who they are.

Although many make fun of it, I am a hardcore One Tree Hill fan. Although it could be called a soap opera, I will always stand by my opinion that the writers put together many profound and beautiful thoughts. One of my favorite quotes says, "Love. The day that you start thinking that love is overrated is the day that you're wrong. The only thing wrong with love and faith and belief is not having it." True that. Love is so very vital to the world. But how will the world get it if we don't show it? That's the thing that makes love so special, it can't be manufactured. It must be given. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son." So don't forget to give love to everyone, especially those who are hard to love, and when you do love, love like God does: love extravagantly.



*names are changed =]

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Timing is Everything =]

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14

It's funny how God works. They say that hindsight is 20-20, and when it comes to the way God works, that's almost true. Even looking back, I can't always tell how God worked, but I can definitely tell that He was there. Whether I'm looking back several years, or just earlier in the morning, it's nearly impossible to miss God's unmistakable fingerprints on our lives.

Monday morning I woke up with a groan, tired and soooo not looking forward to class. Suddenly, I realized that I hadn't woken up to my alarm. I grabbed my phone, dreading the time that I feared it was. Yep. I had overslept. I yelled and leaped out of bed with speed that is only present at such a time. Fifteen minutes later, I had somehow managed to get ready for psych on time, and before I left my room I just stopped. I don't know why I thought to pray in that moment, but I did. I simply asked God to give me a better day than how it had started. And you know what? I had one of the best Mondays I have had in a while.

That night, as I lay in my bed waiting to fall asleep, I thought back over my day. I realized that it was certainly no coincidence that I had had a great day that monday. I had been tired, and c'mon-it's a monday! Who likes mondays!? No one, at least no one who also claims sanity. But, despite my strong dislike of mondays, I had a great day! I would be stupid not to credit this to God. How much better could life be if I remembered to invite God to be a part of everyday, not just the ones that start out badly? I think that Monday was God showing me how much better life is with Him.

So it was a great Monday, but what about the days that are just plain lame? They're bound to come, so how can I get through those? I can think of no better method than through my Creator. Isaiah 40:29-31 says, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." There's my answer. God is the one who can take my sucky days and give me strength and vigor to face that day, and all the ones after it.

When I played Bible Bowl, Bill constantly told me, and other players, to play one game at a time. In the same way, football, basketball and other sports teams get in trouble when they look too far ahead to the "big game" and forget about the underdog. We all know that story. But it's hard to play one game at a time. It's difficult to focus on the here and now, what is going on today. It's so much easier to look past the struggles of today for that time that we "can't wait" for. While there is nothing wrong with looking ahead, planning, and preparing, we must not forget today and all the incredible opportunities God has placed before us today. Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." When we wait for the Lord's timing, that's when he can take our Mondays and turn them into good days, rather than just another day to get past.

I, like anyone, say "I can't wait for......" a lot. Usually it's just used as a common phrase used to show excitement, anticipation, etc., but I need to be careful to remember that God's timing is the absolute best in the world. All the planning and scheduling I can do cannot compare to God's perfect timing, and he doesn't even need a blackberry to keep it all straight! Earlier in Isaiah 40, verse 28 says, "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom." God doesn't get tired, and we can't begin to understand everything that He does. Wow, why do I even try to keep my life straight?

When we wait on "the everlasting God," we allow for his perfect timing to take effect. When we give up our schedules and to-do lists, and ask God to make our day a success on his terms, we let Him work in our lives in incredible ways. As one who loves to make lists, asking God to make my day successful based on His plan for my life is quite a task. It doesn't mean that I don't do anything that day, rather, it means that I want God to work through me that day on His schedule. And when God has control of my day and I want to live that day on his terms, it is going to be a prosperous, fulfilling, and successful day. I may not get all my tasks done, but I might get to talk to an old friend. I might not get as much tv time, but I might get something meaningful written on here. Whatever it is, God can take my days and make them all awesome, if I can trust Him to make it what He wants it to be. Haven't you heard? He's the Creator of the earth! He alone can give me strength to face everyday, all the way to Sunday.

Isaiah 40:28-"Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out."

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

God alone is our strength.

"We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Whether it's a spiritual hardship you're facing, or just a really hard test, I was reminded today that God is our strength. At the beginning of my senior year, I started writing Bible verses, quotes and small thoughts in a notebook. I did this for a while, but stopped as the summer got crazy. I recently found this notebook, however, and I was so encouraged by what I had scribbled down a year earlier. One of the main themes that I seemed to be writing about at the time was the strength God can give us. I was reminded this afternoon that God is the source for my spiritual, physical, emotional and mental strength.

At the beginning of Joshua, the Lord encouraged Joshua with some powerful yet comforting words: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

I love the book of Joshua. It may be because it was my first Bible Bowl text, or maybe I would like it anyway, but I love it, especially this verse. God tells Joshua not to be afraid, because He will always be with him. Always. And when an all-powerful God is with us at all times, why would we be afraid? A similar promise was a part of my last Bible Bowl text: "They will fight against you, but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you, declares the Lord." God is with us, and he promises to rescue us from all harm. Over and over, God assures us that He is perfectly capable of taking care of His children. Psalm 27:1 says, "So with God on my side I'm fearless, afraid of no one and nothing."

So we know God is always with us, but the amazing part of that truth is what that means for us. When God is always with us, He is our strength. God empowers us to do our best and beyond. Psalm 121 is one of my favorite psalms because it reminds me of God's amazingness lol. "My strength comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." God, who made everything in the whole wide world, is the one who takes care of us and helps us to do His will.

With God at our side we shouldn't be afraid, and we can be empowered to do amazing things in the name of Christ. Now of course, neither of these things are natural for us or easy for us to do. Fear is such a natural response, but with God, there's no need to fear anything, whether its a thing or just the future. Isaiah 12:22 says, "God is my salvation. I trust, I won't be afraid." We really can trust in our Almighty God to protect us from everything, to keep us safe and to carry out His plan in our lives. In one of my favorite books, To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus tells his children, "Courage is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what." The only thing Atticus is missing in this encouraging phrase is the God factor. When you know you're licked, God is the one who helps you see it through no matter what. It's a lot easier to be strong and courageous when God is the one backing you up, rather than just yourself.

Once we trust God and get rid of our fear, God can empower us to do incredible things for Him! We can trust Him to take care of everything in our lives. Philippians 4:6 says, "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, PRAY!" We know that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength, but do we really really really believe it? God cares about the sparrows and the lilies, why wouldn't he care about our everyday problems? Why would we think "that problem is too small for God to care about"? God desperately wants us to trust him in the big things, but also in the little things. Jeremiah 32:27 says, "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" Of course nothing is too hard for God. It is so vital that we remember that.

One time Al, my youth pastor, said to me, "Sometimes I think you're the only one who doesn't believe you can." How often I fall into this harmful thinking. In order to trust God to do something, you must believe that God can do it through you. Without Him you can't, but with Him, you absolutely can. God is a fighter, and with Him behind us, we too can leave fear behind, be a fighter, and do His will.

The message translation of Psalm 119:32 says, "God, don't let me down! I'll run the course you lay out for me if you just show me how." God wants to show us how. He wants us to ask Him anything and everything. Over and over in the Bible we see how, when someone lets God work through them, incredible things take place. But this pattern is not only limited to famous Bible characters. God can and will do incredible things through you. Don't you dare think you're insignificant to God's plan. Before we were formed in the womb, God knew us, and he set each of us apart for a special purpose in his plan. He knows the plans that He has for us, and He promises that they are plans to prosper us and to give us a future! (Jeremiah 1:5, 29:11)

God doesn't always make things clear for us, and often, that's where fear comes from. Other times, fear can come in when we do know what God wants us to do. That can be scary sometimes, a lot of the time, actually I think. But like he promised Joshua, God promises to be with us wherever we go. God guards us now, he guards us always (Psalm 121). Most important to remember, He isn't going anywhere. Through thick and thin, God is with us and wants to help us through. And when we choose to trust God and draw our strength from Him, He will be there for us always, no matter who you are, or what it is that God has called you to do. Isaiah 37:26 says, "Have you not heard? Long ago I ordained it! In days of old I planned it!" God knows what He's doing, never doubt that.

As Romans 8:17 says, "If we go through the hard times with Him, we're certainly going to go through the good times with Him!" Praise Jesus for that. We can study all we want or be determined to do well, but frankly, we are nothing without God. While it's good to be prepared and determination is helpful, God alone is the source of our true strength. And if we trust Him to be our power and strength, to give us wisdom and intelligence, or to protect us, He will most certainly take care of His children. "Do not be anxious about anything.." Instead, pray; ask God to help you out. God is the only one who will never fall short, and He will never let you down.

"Be strong and courageous. Don't be terrified, don't be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

God alone is our strength.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

For the Lord, not for men

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men" Colossians 3:23

I ran across this verse about a year ago, and at the time it particularly struck a chord with me as I worked on conqering my senioritis in school and Bible Bowl. Now, almost a year later, I am again reminded of the importance of, as the message puts it, doing your best. Now I don't mean doing my best for me, so that I look good or prove something to myself and others, but rather doing my best, and then letting God take care of the outcome.

I have found it hard over the past year or so, to understand the confusing concept of "doing my best." I have always been a perfectionist, and I stand firmly by that aspect of my personality. I have come to realize, however, that while there may be a place for perfectionism when editing a paper or organizing my closet, perfection is not always an achievable, realistic, or sensible goal to strive toward. There simply are not enough hours in the day, or rather in a lifetime, to work at something so much that it is perfect. And frankly, let's be realistic, we are human. Though we know this, let me reiterate it: no one is perfect.

So how do I bridge the gap between the perfectionist mindset where nothing or no one could ever be quite right, and the concept of doing my best and being content and leaving it at that? The first concept I have to wrap my mind around is that of being content with my best. As a person who loves to excel, and expects to do so, how can I be ok with it if my best isn't the best? What if my best isn't good enough?

Me and my youth pastor have had extensive conversations about this concept. He always asks me, "Did you do your best?" And I say, "Well yea, I always do my best, but--" But he always cuts in right there with, "Then that's all that matters." While I know intellectually that he is correct, that is insanely hard to accept when I have just, in my mind, failed hardcore. The world tells us that second place is the first loser. And while we laugh at that prase, I have totally been guilty of that thinking. But I have to remember that I am called, not to win or excel at everything I attempt, but rather to do my best, and most importantly, to do my best for God's glory.

So now, I get that I am supposed to do my best. I am supposed to give it my all, not give up, prepare, etc. But for what? Colossians says for the Lord, not for men. Ok, so don't do it for me, do it for God. But how can I play a game or take a test for God's glory? It's a weird thing to try to understand, how simple tasks such as studying or doing drills could be done for God, when they seemingly have nothing to do with "Christian stuff."

I've found that doing something for the Lord does not mean you are running around saying praise Jesus every five seconds or that you work God into your math homework, but rather that you do that task in a manner worthy of God(Phil. 1:27), and that you trust God to take care of that task. Over and over in Psalms we are admonished to put our trust and hope in God. Psalm 146:3-5 says, "Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God." Or, as the Message puts it, "Don't put your life in the hands of experts who know nothing of life, of salvation life. Mere humans don't have what it takes; when they die, their projects die with them. Instead, get help from the God of Jacob, put your hope in God and know real blessing!" God is our Almighty Creator, why would we let anyone else handle the things in our lives?

Also, Psalm 147:10-11 says, "His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love." God doesn't care about how strong we are or how smart we are, he wants us to put our faith in him, not in our brain or our muscles. He wants us to do our best in everything, and trust Him to take care of the rest. He is more than capable. If we give him our firstfruits, our very best effort, will he not take that and make it even better than we could have hoped for? We have no control of how life happens anyway; why not leave it up to God?

And once I realize that all I have to do is my best, I get that peace that passes all understanding. I know that all I can do is my best, and that for God, that is enough. It may not be enough to get the promotion, make the team, win the trophy or be the best, but to God, my best is really the best. He delights when I do my best and let him take care of the outcome. Because it seems to me that God loves to save us. He loves taking care of us and making us successful. Most of all though, he loves it when we give him credit for doing so. I firmly believe that if I do my best, and trust God to carry out his will in that situation, that he will bless me for that faith. It may not be by giving me the outcome I hoped for, but he will bless me for that faith in his plan. And since God knows better than anyone what's going on, why would I want it any other way?

Psalm 127:1 says, "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." My Bible says that the theme of this chapter is "Life without God is senseless." How very true. Whatever I do, if I don't do it for God, it doesn't matter. All I can do is my best, and when my very best is done for God, he will undoubtedly take care of the rest.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

"I'm never out of your sight..."

God is all powerful and all knowing. Psalm 139 gives praise for God's awe-inspiring love and power. The message translation particularly captures the awesomeness of our wonderful Creator.

A David Psalm

1-6 God, investigate my life;
get all the facts firsthand.
I'm an open book to you;
even from a distance,
you know what I'm thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I'm never out of your sight.
You know everything I'm going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can't take it all in!

7-12 Is there anyplace
I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings
to the far western horizon,
You'd find me in a minute—
you're already there waiting!
Then I said to myself,
"Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light,
they're all the same to you.

13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

17-22 Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!
God, I'll never comprehend them!
I couldn't even begin to count them—
any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
And you murderers—out of here!—
all the men and women who belittle you, God,
infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I hate those who hate you, God,
see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;
I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
Your enemies are my enemies!

23-24 Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Blindfolds aren't thaaaat bad...

They say you never know what you got till it's gone. I never really had a personal experience with that phrase until recently. From labor day, the first time I went home, I have been at school for a month until my next trip home (this weekend). During this month, I had the opportunity to go on two weekend trips to peoples' homes. I stayed with the Currans one weekend, and my friend Lissa's family last weekend. Each time I was in these homes, I was incredibly reminded of how I miss my own home as I'm living in a cold dorm room in Ohio. In highschool, when I would travel on bible bowl trips, I was never that excited to go home. Now, though, that I don't have it anymore, I realize how much I loved my home: my parents, my own room, my dog, my garage space even!

Point being, God showed me something very important this weekend while I was in Lissa's warm and welcoming home: I may not like Ohio, and I may not stay here forever, but I know that if nothing else, God works everything together for good for those that love God and are called according to his purpose. If God brought me to Ohio for nothing more than to teach me to trust Him, then I am absolutely glad that He did. Ohio may not give me the original degree I set out to get, all my classes may not transfer, I may not miss it at all when I'm gone, but I know that God is teaching me during this time to trust Him more than I ever was able to when I was in my awesome home that I completely took for granted.

I am beginning to figure out what I think God wants me to do in the next few years, and I am totally excited about that. I don't know exactly how all this is going to work out, but all I can think is how awesome it is that God's got me covered. I know that I am here for a purpose right now, and when that time is up, He has a whole other set of cool stuff for me to do. The career plan I am currently stuck on is an awesome one. It is where my passions and skills are, and everytime I mention it to someone, I get excited talking about it. Sometimes though, I think of all the hard parts of that career, the scary parts that I think I wouldn't be so good at. I start to second guess myself and where I feel God is calling me, thinking that maybe that really isn't for me. I realized this weekend, though, that I should not be afraid. God isn't going to call me to do something I can't do. I want to use my skills and talents to glorify God and to touch the lives of poeple. That part excites me. But like everything, there are always parts of life or a job that don't necessarily cater to my strengths. This weekend, though, I remembered that in my weakness, God is strong. If I have a passion for something, there is no need to be afraid of the hard parts, because God will take care of me. When I'm not up to a task, Jesus shines through when I rely on Him to help me do His will. I really can do everything through Jesus Christ who makes me strong. Whether it's a new job, a difficult task, a struggle to overcome an addiction, whatever. God empowers us to do things we never think we could do if we let Him work through us. That is waaay more reasuring than a good grade in a class or a diploma in my hand. Because if I have realized anything in Ohio, it is that I haven't got a chance of living a rich life without God. Only He can give a full, real life, and it is only through Him that I am able to do what I do. I realized that in regard to Bible Bowl this summer. I knew I couldn't possibly do well on my own, I just had to do my best for God, and He would take care of it. Now, on a whole new level, I'm learning to apply that trust to not just one part of my life, like Bible Bowl, but to every single part of it.

Today, for the first time in a long time, my status was "ILML" (I love my life). I've had a hard time lately, but today I find myself content with where God has me now. I want Him to guide my life, and I absolutely know He will. It's hard letting go, and it's completely a daily thing. It seems like everytime I wake up, my natural instinct is to take control myself. That hasn't got me anywhere, though. But I try to remember that God has planned out all the days that will come for me. He knows all of my days before one of them comes to be, and He knows all my thoughts even before I think them. That's insane. But totally awesome. I still can't figure out why it's so hard to trust a God who has everything that under control. It is though, and some days are tougher than others. But God doesn't change, and He promised that He would be with us always, even to the end of the age. He knows what's going on, and He has a specific purpose for me everyday of my life. That's exciting to me. It's a little scary not knowing, but so much better knowing that He knows exactly. I just want to help people, and I can't wait to see where He takes me.

"I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]." -Philippians 4:13, Amplified Bible

"I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."-Philippians 4:12-13, The Message Translation

"Christ gives me the strength to face anything." -Philippians 4:13, Comtemporary English Version

Thursday, September 24, 2009

A Better Grip <3

What a terrible thing it is to wait. It seems like everything lately has involved waiting somehow. Currently, I'm waiting to write my greek and roman history paper. This waiting, unlike the kind that is beyond my control, is often reffered to as procrastination. Now, I'm quite good at procrastinating; I'm still debating on whether it is in fact my spiritual gift or not. Just kidding, but like many of you I'm sure, it's quite easy to put things off. It's not quite so easy to wait on God's timing, though.

I continue to struggle with the fact that I have absolutely no problem putting off things that I can seemingly do by myself, but I can't trust God, my absolute Creator, to take care of stuff. If I was a bystander, I would absolutely prefer to let God handle a task than that Kimber girl. My track record verses God's would defintely have me coming up with the short stick, if I even had a stick at all.

But here I am, the girl who never met a decision she couldn't worry over. And the worst part is that I know what God says about worrying and trusting and waiting. I know it; I've read it. Why can't I just simmer and let go? And it's like I get glimpses of the peace Paul tells us about in Philppians 4, the peace that "transcends all understanding." I was terribly upset the other night about the fact that I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and I prayed that I would let it go and that God would take care of it, as I know he wants to. The next morning, I woke up without a care in the world. All my worry was gone; I knew it would be ok. But that is gone now as I sit here kind of lonely. I feel like Peter as he's walking on the water, it's like he finally figured it out and got it, but then he looked down.

On the stall doors of our bathroom, there are various verses of encouragement and God's love posted. On one it says a verse I've known for a long time. "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." I'm glad it's there, because I need reminders like that. Another is from my favorite passage in Jeremiah 29, "You will seek and find me when you seek me with all your heart." I know intellectually that if I want that peace, God will give it to me, I think it's a matter of trusting that really can take care of it, though. I can have that peace that totally takes away my need for intellectual and logical clarity, if only I really trust that God can handle it. And not only that he can handle it, but that he will handle it in the way that is for my best. God says his plans are to make our lives better and not to make us miserable, they are plans that will give us hope and a good future (Jer. 29:11). This may not be necessarily what we think is our perfect future, but God's plans are better than anything we could dream of. We all know this, but it's hard to give up our planner.

In our devos tonight, we talked about worry. It was quite ironic, becuase that was just what I had been writing about on here. (Probably not ironic, more like God) Avery read a passage for us from Matthew 11:28-30, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Jesus wants us to come to him, becasue in him we will find rest for our souls. What an awesome promise.

God also encourages us not to be anxious or scared or nervous or worried about anything (Phil 4:6). Anything. Why would Paul say that if he only meant the big things. Or if he only meant the little things. He said anything, so I'm going to take that as everything. God wants to take care of everything in my life. And I absolutely believe he is capable.

I believe it, but it's hard to break my worry habit. I'm going to keep trying though. God's not going anywhere, and I know he'll help me along, no matter how long it takes. Another bathroom door promise is Isaiah 54:10, "'For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you." I love this verse. God promises that his steadfast love, which is an awesome phrase btw, will never leave us. He's not quitting on us. AND, his "covenant of peace" won't be taken away. We throw up the peace sign all the time, but I want the peace of God that takes away all my worries and troubles. And, best of all, here the Lord is described as one who has compassion on you. God has compassion on us, even when we mess up; he's not going anywhere.

So neither am I. Yea, I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. Luckily for me though, God does. And oh it's soooo easy to write that, but how hard is it to do. So very hard, but we've got an incredible God who's not going anywhere. That warms my worried heart to know. So I guess I just have to keep doing my work, especially this paper, and let God take care of my tomorrow. It should be easier that way, and I think that it is, if I can ever let go enough to see. As David Crowder says, letting go gives a better grip. I guess I'll just wait and see.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I'll be by your side...

Life shouldn't be this hard. It just shouldn't be. It's not the way God wants it, and it's not the way he planned for it to be. Life isn't fair. Bad things happen to good people, and it's not right, but it's the world we live in. We can't justify it, we can't fix it. Only God can. But he doesn't always. And that's when it gets rough.

God doesn't promise us that he will make everything perfect, or that he will fix all our problems. He does, however, promise to love us with an insane love, and to be by our side every moment of every day. Every time we call on his name, he is already there. He doesn't even have to come running, he's already there! He knows our every thought. He knows when we feel alone, he knows when we're hurt, he knows when we just wish all the crap would go away. And he sooo desires that we would cry out to him when our heart is broken, because I am convinced that no amount of chocolate, peanut butter, or chick flicks can mend a broken heart. Only God can, and he so wants to do just that.

"Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you"

That's by your side by tenth avenue north. What a beautiful love song from God to his Bride. And what a comfort to me. Even though life sucks, as this life on earth certainly does, God is always by our side, just waiting for us to cry out to him. He is there to protect, love and comfort us with his awesome power and grace. Remember, our God is an awesome God. He's all the "omnis", aka, he can take care of it all. But the one he cares most about is you. Just as the little kids sing, Jesus loves us, so incredibly much. He died for us! And how cliche does that sound to us?! But it really is incredible if you take the chance to think about it. He wants us to run after him and cry out to him, not only when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but always. And he promises to take us along still waters when we do. He has his shepherd's staff in his hand, and who would dare to go up against God's hand, let alone his hand with a big stick in it?! But seriously, He will always protect us from everything the devil can possibly throw our way. If only we will call on his amazing and awesome name, he will answer, because he is right by our side. He alone can make everything all right when absolutely nothing in this life is how it should be. Remember, He will always listen, always protect, and always love. Always.

PSALM 121
I look up to the mountains;
does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

He won't let you stumble,
your Guardian God won't fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel's
Guardian will never doze or sleep.

God's your Guardian,
right at your side to protect you
Shielding you from sunstroke,
sheltering you from moonstroke.

God guards you from every evil,
he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
he guards you now, he guards you ALWAYS.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

This is to have succeeded....

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

My aunt and uncle gave me this amazing quote typed on a slip of paper for graduation. I read it, thought it nice, hung it on my wall and trotted off to college without paying it any mind. When I went home last weekend, though, I noticed it, slipped on the corner of one of my pictures, and I read it again. All of a sudden it hit me like I had never read it. What an incredible definition of success! I packed it in my suitcase to take back to school and it now is taped up on my bookshelf over my computer. Each day, as I sit doing homework, or rather on facebook lol, I see it and am reminded of what I am doing in this life.

Now ultimately, I believe we are made to glorify God in everything we do, whatever it is. One of my favorite verses, but one of the hardest to live by in my opinion is Colossians 3:23. "Whatever you do, do it with your whole heart, as for the Lord and not for men." Or something like that. However, does not Emerson's description of success include many things that God commands us to do? Especially the last part: "to leave the world a bit better..." We are called to better the world we live in that is so tainted with sin, primarily by being examples of holiness, set apart from the sin of the world.

The last part of this quote is my favorite, though. "To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived." Wow; that is my goal. What a beautiful picture of someone whose life has mattered. I have been struggling lately trying to decide what I want to major in, not to mention what career I plan to pursue. I've been trying to trust God to guide and lead my as he so frequently promises he will do. In my old testament history class, we are studying the remarkable lives of the Patriarchs, who, though they were as imperfect as you and I, believed God and trusted him to guide their every move. Of course they slipped and stumbled along the way, but overall, what an amazing example of faith! In Hebrews 11 this is all compiled together to show their incredible faith in God's plan. Genesis says that "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness." Wow, I hope I can have that kind of a faith-unswerving and steadfast.

Anyway, such a faith and trust is hard to develop. It's definitely hard for me, such a planner and worrier as I am, to not know what I'm going to be doing in a year, or ten or 25. But then I read this quote, which is why I have hung it up in front of me, and I remember. No matter what God sets before me to do or where he takes me, I will always strive to let at least one life breathe easier because I have lived. This is the message of Christian hospitality and generosity and kindness. To let one life breathe easier, with the hope that, instead of crediting that to you, they will credit it to the Lord, and see that his marvelous love is really the thing behind it all.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Hearbreak or Happiness; either way, God has made you BEAUTIFULLY <3

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:13-14

So I thought boy troubles in high school were bad. Wow, was I mistaken. I have only lived on my floor here at school two weeks and I have already seen everything from heartbreak to happiness in my fellow women thanks to the males of our world.

I've been wanting to write on here again for a while, but I didn't quite have anything riveting to share. Personally, God has been teaching me how to trust and follow him. This has not been an easy lesson, but it's a pretty standard one I think: I want to know what's going to happen and how and when, and God says chillax, I've got this one.

Apart from that, though, I've really been praying mostly for the people around me. I find that every night my list gets longer, but I'm ok with that. So, in light of recent events on our floor, and a nice chat I had with my lovely friend Lissa today on the way to church, I just want to explore our incredible God and how he has made us ladies-beautifully.

There is a bulletin board down the hall from my room that says just that, and I love it. It is so vital that we girls be reminded of that daily-that God has made us beautifully. This morning at church, a guy shared a testimony about going to India on a mission that saved girls from sex traficking. He shared a story with us about one day, they went around the room and the girls said what they though was beautiful. The sun, nature, etc, were common answers, until one girl said "Me. I am beautiful." Wow! What an amazing proclomation from a girl who had lived a life of horrors of which I can't imagine. But she is so right. No matter what country you live in, what your skin color is, what size jeans you wear, or how freckled your face is, God has made you beautifully.

So, that's awesome, right. I can say that all day, but do we believe it? I ask that because all down the hall I see girls who don't. Not all, all the time, but at some point, every girl in the world has thought, wow, I look like crap. I'm guilty of it, we all are I would bet. But that's not ok. Who are we to scoff at God's creation, saying, you should've made me more like her. It's so dangerous a thing to do that! Once in the business of comparing, our self image only gets worse. Then, what happens? Self-esteem goes down the tube and we go from thinking of ourselves as God's beautiful creation to not worth too much of anyone's time.

There is an amazing girl on this floor who is sweet, cute and fun. She is beautiful. Does she believe it? I don't think so. See, like many of us, she has settled for someone becuase he makes her feel loved, he gives her attention. But when he treats her like crap, she deals, because she doesn't think she's worth the time of someone who will love her for her inner beauty, and not just her outer. She lies to herself, saying that she's blowing it out of proportion, all the bad stuff he does and says. She tells herself that she should be cooler with it, and not be so needy.

Well that's a lie.
Our Creator made us exactly the way he wanted to. To Him, we are beautiful creations. And any guy who thinks any less of you than that, and I mean ANY less, is not the man that God designed perfectly to fit you, his beautiful creation. God did not just cut out a bunch of paper dolls, throw them on the table and see who landed together! No, he made the perfect girl to fit and compliment her perfect guy. Our Creator is all powerful, why would he make people almost fit? God didn't make our bodies work kind of. He didn't make sure the lungs worked most of the time and then check it off his list. God doesn't allow a margin of error! He does what he wants, and why on earth would he send his Son to die for a creation that wasn't all that? He loved us that much, why would he not make us perfectly as he intended?

Luke records Jesus' words, "Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!"

God made the lilies. They are my favorite flower and, I think, quite beautiful. Would he not make his last creation, his creation for which all else was created, mankind, just as beautiful? It's not like God got tired when he got to women and said ehh-whatever. No! Quite the opposite.

Genesis tells us that when Adam was in the garden, God found that it was not good for man to be alone. God says that he would make a helper fit for him. So all the animals came to Adam and he named them. Among all of the creatures God created, though, none was found suitable. So God decided to make a helper fit for him, woman. (Genesis 2:18-23)

Now we all know the creation story, but I've had to read over this again several times for my OT history class, and it's struck me how amazing God is. He makes everything perfectly. And this isn't a shocker to me, but it's still incredible to think about! God is amazing, and he has made each one of his creations exactly as he intended. With a perfect plan(Jer 29:11), and perfectly (Psalm 139:14).

At CIY, Mark Moore told his next level class that girls needed to be told everyday that they are beautiful, and he was exactly right. If you are a guy, do not be afraid to say that your girlfriend, best friend, sister or daughter is beautiful. Because I promise she needs to hear it. Ladies, build your fellow women up, don't tear them down to make yourself feel better. It's tempting I know, but so harmful to both of you.

Remember, ladies, you are beautiful, and you are worth it. God has made someone special for you. He is perfect for you and he is exactly what you need, becuase God knows that waaay better than we think we do. So don't freak if he's not come around yet. Don't get mixed up in the losers who don't think you're as beautiful as you are. And, most important, don't settle. God didn't settle when he made you, so don't settle for less than the amazing man you deserve. And you really do deserve the best, because God has made you beautifully.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Kicked out of Comfort

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

So this week has been crazy! My early week class (one class squished into one week, 7 hours a day) is Greek and Roman History, which is hard to pay attention to all day. But it's not that part that I've been majorly stressing about. It's the social interaction part, which I'm not so good at in new situations. I was blown away yesterday, however, when I came to this realization: God really does take care of me.
Monday, first day of class. I don't know anyone in the class, and they're all upperclassmen who already have their friend groups. Lunchtime rolls around and I freak! It's like first day of highschool all over again! Who do I sit with? All the people I do know are in different classes and don't get out for lunch at the same time as me. I don't want to awkwardly butt into someone else's table, and I sure as heck don't want to sit alone! It terrified me. I ended up finding somewhere to sit, but jetted as soon as I finished the mediocre chicken.
So that night, I prayed and I prayed hard. I did not want another day like that-a lonely, unsure day of awkwardness. I asked God to give me someone I knew to sit with at lunch, and to make my day a little smoother. Now, I know this probably sounds stupid and trivial-like how hard is it to find someone to eat lunch with? But for me it is hard. I'm not good at meeting new people and making friends quick like some are, especially when I'm in a new situation myself. It's scary to start over completely!
Well, that next day at lunch, God totally answered my prayer! I walk down to lunch and standing right in front of me is a friend, someone I feel comfortable with standing in line, chatting, and eating. Wow. I was like-for once! lol It was awesome, knowing that God was taking care of me, helping out in my defecit.
Then, today, we went on a field trip. Good to be out of the classroom, but once again, I was going to be kicked out of my comfort zone. So I prayed for help, and God gave me a new friend today. It was so obvious he was behind it, all I could do was smile.
Yesterday night, I was thinking about, wow, I should blog about this when I get the chance! And then, that night, at the park where we had an orientation activity, the president of Chicfila spoke to us. He was a funny guy, but what stuck in my mind out of that night was one thing he said. "God makes life just tough enough so that we trust him." And I was like yeah! Coming to CCU has been crazy! It's rediculously out of my comfort zone-a new city, new school, new people. I realized that night that I can either worry my self sick-literally-about making friends, my classwork, etc, or I can trust God to help me through the hard parts of life like this part. Because in our weakness, he shines. We have the opportunity to say-hey, look how God helped me, look how awesome he is. Like why he chose Moses or Jeremiah: I can't speak, I'm only a kid-God says don't worry, I'm with you. That way people don't think you're the hot shot-they'll know it's all me! So that's what I'm going for. I don't need to worry about making friends, having friends in my classes, or having people to sit with at mealtimes, because God will provide. And even if he doesn't give me what I think I need in that moment, I still have him, for always.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths."

"I will make you wise and show you where to go; I will guide you and watch over you."

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Emmanuel...God with us

Hey guys! So I just moved into my dorm room in Cincinnati. It's crazy going from being just a normal high school student-almost completely relient upon my parents, to becoming an almost self-relient college student. Goodbyes sucked, of course, but the orientation process has been cool-meeting new people, learning new things and new places, it's all kind of overwhelming. I snuggled down under my new comforter and sheets last night and was hit by all this craziness. It's really mindboggling. In an attempt to keep it together and gain some emotional stability again, I decided to turn to my favorite psalms. I read them whenever I need to be calmed down and it works! Crazy what God can do through his word right? lol Well, one of my favorites is psalm 121. It reads "I lift my eyes up to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth." The psalmist goes on to talk about how God never goes to sleep on the job, how he is always protecting and looking out for us. I decided to jot it down on my white board so that as I was going through this crazy transition into semi-independent life, I was far from going at it alone. First, I remembered that God is "the shade at my right hand," and that he will never leave me. He is, as one of the speakers this weekend reminded us, Emmanuel-God with us. Through all my awkward situations, he's there, encouraging me that it's ok if I screw up. When I feel lonely, he's there to keep me company. And when I do something wrong, he's there, cheering me on with a "you'll get em next time!" I also realized that God has provided me with sooo many people who care about me and how I'm doing. Of course my family and friends at home are praying for me and cheering me on from a distance, and here at school there are not only people who are paid or supposed to care like directors, counselors, and RAs, but I have a whole floor+ full of girls who are experiencing the same exact things I am. Though I feel alone, I am not alone. God is with me and he has provided me with many gracious and caring people to help me out in my awkward or unsure moments. Praise Jesus for that! May God bless you as you embark on the next journey in front of you, whether it be starting college like me, highschool, or just another day at the office. Love you all. =] Kimber.
 

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