Blindfolds aren't thaaaat bad...

They say you never know what you got till it's gone. I never really had a personal experience with that phrase until recently. From labor day, the first time I went home, I have been at school for a month until my next trip home (this weekend). During this month, I had the opportunity to go on two weekend trips to peoples' homes. I stayed with the Currans one weekend, and my friend Lissa's family last weekend. Each time I was in these homes, I was incredibly reminded of how I miss my own home as I'm living in a cold dorm room in Ohio. In highschool, when I would travel on bible bowl trips, I was never that excited to go home. Now, though, that I don't have it anymore, I realize how much I loved my home: my parents, my own room, my dog, my garage space even!

Point being, God showed me something very important this weekend while I was in Lissa's warm and welcoming home: I may not like Ohio, and I may not stay here forever, but I know that if nothing else, God works everything together for good for those that love God and are called according to his purpose. If God brought me to Ohio for nothing more than to teach me to trust Him, then I am absolutely glad that He did. Ohio may not give me the original degree I set out to get, all my classes may not transfer, I may not miss it at all when I'm gone, but I know that God is teaching me during this time to trust Him more than I ever was able to when I was in my awesome home that I completely took for granted.

I am beginning to figure out what I think God wants me to do in the next few years, and I am totally excited about that. I don't know exactly how all this is going to work out, but all I can think is how awesome it is that God's got me covered. I know that I am here for a purpose right now, and when that time is up, He has a whole other set of cool stuff for me to do. The career plan I am currently stuck on is an awesome one. It is where my passions and skills are, and everytime I mention it to someone, I get excited talking about it. Sometimes though, I think of all the hard parts of that career, the scary parts that I think I wouldn't be so good at. I start to second guess myself and where I feel God is calling me, thinking that maybe that really isn't for me. I realized this weekend, though, that I should not be afraid. God isn't going to call me to do something I can't do. I want to use my skills and talents to glorify God and to touch the lives of poeple. That part excites me. But like everything, there are always parts of life or a job that don't necessarily cater to my strengths. This weekend, though, I remembered that in my weakness, God is strong. If I have a passion for something, there is no need to be afraid of the hard parts, because God will take care of me. When I'm not up to a task, Jesus shines through when I rely on Him to help me do His will. I really can do everything through Jesus Christ who makes me strong. Whether it's a new job, a difficult task, a struggle to overcome an addiction, whatever. God empowers us to do things we never think we could do if we let Him work through us. That is waaay more reasuring than a good grade in a class or a diploma in my hand. Because if I have realized anything in Ohio, it is that I haven't got a chance of living a rich life without God. Only He can give a full, real life, and it is only through Him that I am able to do what I do. I realized that in regard to Bible Bowl this summer. I knew I couldn't possibly do well on my own, I just had to do my best for God, and He would take care of it. Now, on a whole new level, I'm learning to apply that trust to not just one part of my life, like Bible Bowl, but to every single part of it.

Today, for the first time in a long time, my status was "ILML" (I love my life). I've had a hard time lately, but today I find myself content with where God has me now. I want Him to guide my life, and I absolutely know He will. It's hard letting go, and it's completely a daily thing. It seems like everytime I wake up, my natural instinct is to take control myself. That hasn't got me anywhere, though. But I try to remember that God has planned out all the days that will come for me. He knows all of my days before one of them comes to be, and He knows all my thoughts even before I think them. That's insane. But totally awesome. I still can't figure out why it's so hard to trust a God who has everything that under control. It is though, and some days are tougher than others. But God doesn't change, and He promised that He would be with us always, even to the end of the age. He knows what's going on, and He has a specific purpose for me everyday of my life. That's exciting to me. It's a little scary not knowing, but so much better knowing that He knows exactly. I just want to help people, and I can't wait to see where He takes me.

"I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]." -Philippians 4:13, Amplified Bible

"I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."-Philippians 4:12-13, The Message Translation

"Christ gives me the strength to face anything." -Philippians 4:13, Comtemporary English Version